4 love … is not jealous
- 1 Corinthians 13:4c
Back in the late 1990s at about seven years of marriage, our marriage almost ended. During this time, an elderly gentleman came to our door while I was at school. My wife let this man in and spoke with him. When I returned home, I went through the roof. Remember I said that we were having trouble and during this time both my wife and I lost trust in each other. Looking back at Five Pillars of a Great Marriage study (specifically the second pillar of trust, Great Marriages … Second Pillar of Trust … Loving Someone is Giving Them the Power to Break Your Heart but Trusting Them Not To) we see that a marriage that has a lost of trust is a strong indication of a marriage in serious trouble. I am thankful that God helped us work through that.
But at the moment I heard about this gentleman who had come to our door, I suddenly began to think the worst. I was imagining that my wife was “seeing” or “dating” or worse with this man and she was only informing me because she figured our neighbors would inform me. When you are not working on the basic building blocks of your marriage and do not have honesty and trust working, then your mind is a playground for the flesh and the enemy to conjure up all kinds of fictitious problems. In this case, my mind was convinced that my wife was having some kind of affair with the very elder gentleman and was looking to leave me. The reason my mind went there was because I was struggling with a porn addiction and when you are gripped by that it is really easy to see people around you as doing those acts over and over again with whomever they can get their hands on. In other words, because of sin in my life, I projected on to my innocent wife that she was having an affair and I was very very jealous. Thank God my wife was patient with me and took the heat of my wraith for a good couple of hours before I calmed down.
Now, to the elder gentleman who has come to our door. It turns out that he was doing something really cool. He was part of a photography studio that came out to your home and setup in your living room and took family portraits. In addition, they were very reasonably priced which allowed us to get some amazing family portraits. Prior to that day, just the sight of a studio would send my two girls into tears. Being in our own living room, they were comfortable and we got great pictures. And after that, they no longer had trouble with picture studios. In short, we were able to partake of a great service that totally blessed my family all because I let my wife’s patience destroy my jealousy so that I could see what God was working as a blessing to us.
Jealousy has never ever anyway in history produced anything but trouble, strife and problems. This is why God tells us that love is not jealous and we should strive to not be jealous in our lives.
Next week, we will continue our study on the Love of God.
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